It's Hard Telling The Person You Love...

"I'M DEAD. I'VE BEEN DEAD FOR SOME TIME NOW."
The thing I hated about Ashley the most was when she heard something that entertained her, you know that she's smiling. Your back could be turned; you could be on the phone. No matter how discretely or indescribably she attempts for it to be, you can tell she's laughing to herself at your discretion.
"Julius, you're kidding."
She was being indiscreet.
"No, I'm not. Your boyfriend found out. And when he did, he got his dad's pistol. He shot me until he didn't see me breathing anymore. Then he threw me over a bridge into the river where my body still probably is. I paused for a minute, coughing up a mouthful of water. Keeled over, I heard her voice one last time.
"Julius, you're being ridiculous, we can't continue this if you're going to act so strange..."

I rose, slamming the phone to the receiver, then slumped down again. I couldn't feel my bones. My whole body felt completely numbed and it felt that I no longer required the necessity of breathing. It enhanced my mind. It allowed me to go back and sort through our relationship. To think deeply. To think of how deeply brainless I have been. How every time she was upset, I was there, and how every time I said 'I love you' she said "Steve should be calling soon, you should go."

She taught me everything I knew. About love, about relationships, about intimacy. She used me and somehow I remained blind. And when she got bored, Steve found out. I laughed to myself for a minute. This turned to about five which turned to ten which turned into an eternity that I will spend ridiculing myself. I honestly played into the cliche heart broken nerd who was actually in love with the girl using him. How many times had I seen this in movies? How many times have I laughed at those people. How many times had I sworn myself in to never experience something so stupid? I laughed some more, considering calling the friends that I used to speak to. The ones who left because they couldn't stand to see me destroy myself with that girl.

Then an immense sadness filled my chest.

I was dead. It was now that I remembered leaving Ashley's house and feeling a gun to my back and being told to keep walking. He led me somewhere concluded and then turned me around. I saw the rage in his eyes, but it wasn't wild love driving him to kill me. It was pride. I had what he had claimed and this made him furious. His posture, the fact that he was sizing me up with his eyes. The fact that he never used Ashley's name once.

"You slept with her."
"That is true, I love Ashley." I said honestly.
"She's mine." He rebuked simply.
"Treat her better then."
I looked at the gun.
"They'll find you if you kill me."
He smiled confidently. "This is my dad's. If anything happens, it's in his name. Besides, he goes shooting every other week. My prints will be gone before I even have time to worry about it."
I looked down to the ground, where I'd eventually lie. "You've been thinking about this for some time, huh?"
"Ever since I met you, kid"

At that moment, I tried the only thing possible to save me. I punched Steve as hard as I could in the face and ran. As I heard him hit the ground, I heard 3 shots. I turned around to see how quickly he had reacted, the pistol stabilized on his right knee. I fell and hit the ground. He recovered himself and shot 4 more times. Then my body found its way to the river.
I was dead and nothing would change that. Slumped in a phone booth, I had what could be considered a body and contact to the world which could be considered paranormal, but I was dead. Never would I see those friends, my family. I wouldn't have anything anymore. I wouldn't be anything. And I remember when my spirit elevated from the ocean who was first in my thoughts. Ashley.

My eyes misted. I had messed up.Really bad. Never again would I get to relive what I had had in that world, and I completely wasted it. Tears came running down, but I couldn't tell if they were in reality or if this was an illusion I was having in death. Did my tears hit the floor or did I just believe them to exist?
That's when I saw a kid my age with a hoodie and jeans shredded at the legs open the phone booth.
"Hey are you on the phone."
I looked up. "I guess not."
"Okay, come with me."

We walked together and it took less than 20 seconds to comprehend.
"You're death, right?"
He turned and smiled. "Youth division."
I walked a bit uneasy. This was it. This guy was going to be the taker of my life. The one that would guide me to heaven or hell. He was my after-life line at this point and he scared me.
"Any last words?" He asked.
"Huh?"
"The little prick who killed you, we can arrange him to say your last words in court when he gets arrested."
I thought. This was my chance. All of my closure could come here. My mom my dad, my sister, my aunt, I loved them all. But how was I supposed to say it perfectly?
"Take your time man, you can tell me at the Overlook."
"The overlook?" I said perplexed.
"Yeah, It's a place where... how do I explain it... Oh yes! Where souls go to think."
"Like purgatory?"
"Yeah, but the view is beautiful from up there." He smiled and continued marching on.

I have no idea how this kid died. I had no idea where I was. But somehow, heading to The Overlook, I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort. Things would play out when we got there and I could think of my last words. My last address to the old world I knew and then I could move on to wherever I was planned to be taken.

It's hard telling the people you love how great it feels when you've found heaven.
-McCain