Rustling in the leaves; Underground

For the record, my intentions are not to talk like I am autistic, but just to send all of you a message. Today, my teacher told me that I don't exist. I'm a pigment of my own imagination. A floating pixel on the ground that just got ran over by a mac truck. I'm rolling in the sewer with my non-existent self and I can't smell one ounce of shit in this place because I simply do not exist. My teacher has tried to beat me before, she tried to tell me that my parents don't care about me because I'm imaginary. That I was a mistake. I wasn't meant to be here. And the more I thought about it, the more I believed it. I've been thinking when I walked into puddles, of rain, on the ground, that my foot wouldn't get wet, it was just stay the way it was. And sometimes, when I eat, I find my food sitting on the chair when I get up. I feel non-existent and invisible. My mom never says "Hi honey how was your day at school?" I don't know why when I go to school only my teacher talks to me, and I have no friends. Nobody notices when I talk and nobody notices when I slam my fists on the table out of anger. I don't know why I walk down the street and try to pet the neighborhood dog, or play with the free kids on the street. Everybody just asks, "What just happened?" "Why did something just touch my hand, was that you?"
---
I told her the next day that I bought a cow, and I thought he was an angel. Because he noticed me, and he licked me with his long cow tongue. He was a friend of mine, that I saw a lot of kindness in and I wanted this to be my lifelong companion, because he was the only one that was my best friend, ever. My teacher said that he resembled the devil. I said she was full of shit. She's always bringing me down, she's always telling me how I don't even matter.
---
The other day, my teacher touched me. She beat me, and tried to fuck me. She was really warm, as we laid on the science table and fucked. I don't know why, but she said this weird word. She said I "raped" her. But I don't know what that means. I can't think, really. I never could. I just knew this felt really good, so I did it, even if she was burning my dick off. It got really hot, almost too hot for normal. I didn't know if this was normal because I didn't know what this was. I just heard people talking about how they "fucked" at this party last night. It feels okay, but not when it feels like an oven.
>>>
I feel like, my teacher isn't human sometimes. Like she's from another world. Like she always does the most weirdest things. She guts lightning bugs and sticks the glowing part from their butts on her teeth and smiles deviously. I don't get it. I need help.
>>>
Today, I found out that my teacher isn't in the school records. She isn't enrolled in our school. I asked the guidance counselor if I could talk to her, I wanted to leave whenever I was in HER class. I started to notice, that when she teaches all the other kids are talking and goofing off and doing other class work. It's almost like we were in study hall. But the only person that was listening was me. I tried to talk to the guidance counselor, but when I went to go sit, it's like I wasn't there. She kept talking on the phone and sending other kids in, and I got to listen to all of their personal problems. What is wrong with me?
>>>
Today, I walked to the psyche hospital and sat in the waiting room for 2 days. Nobody noticed me. I am invisible.
>>>
My teacher is so beautiful.
She's a demon.
I am in love.
I am invisible.
And I am dead.

_______________________________
So, this is something I had a dream about. It might not make ANY sense to you. But the boy died a lonnnggg time ago, and went to hell. He came back as an autistic boy, and is invisible to almost everyone. His teacher is a demon, of course, she's the only one that notices him. Because she is his wife. Get it?

-Kayla

The Sanctuary (A Virgin Society)

822 Days Until Comedown:

It is dark outside. All the time. And we're, I think. We're old enough now, old enough to rip the feeding tubes out of our arms just as the umbilical chord is separated from a mommy and her baby. A boy told us that today. He knew because he was 10 when we got sent up here, he had a really good memory. I'm only 8, but that's all I know, hopefully all the kids here will remember something about themselves with me, like the ten year old boy. Maybe we could all be friends.

820 Days Until Comedown:

Today the 10 year old boy found a whole bunch of movies in the back of the ship. He put them on and there is a lady who calls herself the 'mother' of all of us. I don't know if it's true but she has a bunch of pictures of us, and next to them, she said our names, so here's mine.

Hello. My name is Samuel.

267 Days Until Comedown:

There are so many things to learn today. Mother has taught us all our vocabulary and customs of culture. She says she can't tell us everything, because she wants us all to experience things for ourselves. She keeps crying in all of her videos. Nobody knows why. All we do all day is sit and look forward to more videos of her, take notes, learn everything possible. This is how we will come to fine an explanation to being in space. And by the way, she has revealed that we're in space.

Samuel

128 Days Until Comedown

Study Study Study, a constant staple in our day. After that though, we eat our food and say hello to our friends. I have a few friends here but I remain closest to the boy who first revealed to me what an umbilical cord was. His name is Daniel and he knows most of the things that we learned earlier, like writing, but still we sit and wonder, why had mother cry? What had upset our mother in every single lesson she recorded, no matter what it was about? He tells me has memories of adults talking behind closed doors, shipping us off into space. We learned about what a family was today and what boys and girls do to make babies. Our ship was disgusted and for the whole day girls and boys remained separated from each other, until dinner that was. But thinking of everything, it really made me wonder, did my mom and dad care about me?

77 Days Until Comedown

And so all is revealed. Mother, she cries because she had to let go of us. She actually tells us its because she's crying for all of the women here. All of the mom's and dad's who've had to give up their children. Its hard aging from 8 to 10 on a spaceship with no concept of what life is really supposed to be like. Boys don't know how to treat girls; we don't know the concepts of society. All we know is mother. On the bright side, we're learning more and more about this thing called the comedown. Mother has changed her focus from World History to recent history. We don't know what it is yet, but hopefully it means us getting out of here.

Samuel

60 Days Until Comedown

Daniel steadily is learning on his own. Much older, he's learning how to operate a craft such as the one we're on currently. He's learning about the great societies of time, like Mayans and Incans and people such as that. He told me of pilgrims and all things through history. I stay interested, but I fear he's become engulfed in this work. Constantly studying, he doesn't even play the games as we all do. Instead he sits and reads.

Samuel

28 Days Until Comedown

Our history lesson in class: 2 years ago a different species invaded our planet. It took over our bodies and altered a mind. A closed- door- group of scientist decided there was only one way to prevent the spread- by bombing everything. A few parents were told the truth and that's where we came in. We were sent up into space when they dropped the bomb that would kill most of the species. They said themselves, the chemicals were made to make sure that no human lived, but where we should be landing, and that there'd be a safe house full of canned goods. We were given mom to learn to cook and clean and live without adults. We were supposed to come down, she says. Come down and hit the earth with the hard built top of the ship. She tells us that if we land and there's knocking, not to open the door.

Samuel

The Comedown

We hit the ground, hard. In an odd form of synchronization, the last video played and she told us to wait for noises. Nothing. The boys and girls filed out accordingly to what they saw as a safe house. The ground resembled ash, almost like a thing called snow that we learned about, but more pale. The air smelled harsh and hurt my lungs a bit. I couldn't wait until we got into the house. And when we finally did, as promised, cans of food remained everywhere from our ancestors. Because we had learned to cook food on the ship, such variety made it exhilarating for us. Daniel stayed in the ship uneasy though and as we all gathered happily, he remained paranoid.

We went inside and saw magazines. The magazine had a bunch of older women and dresses and muscular men. They almost looked like gods and I wondered if they were to the men and women who died before us. But my thoughts were thrown aside to the knocking, no, the rapping at the door. Quickly one of us locked it and we saw it was not a child as we were. Quickly, we ran upstairs for cover, and then found a weapon. We heard a large noise, which I thought was the window breaking, but when we looked out we saw that it was Daniel outside, making the noise. He was igniting the spacecraft, trying to launch off again. Against the ship, adults bleeding from the fingernails clawed at it, making a high pitch squealing noise we had never heard of. For a moment, he seemed at peace, launching the ship; I thought all of the hard work, all of the isolation, had gone in his favor. But that glimpse of hope was interrupted by a glimpse of a spark instead, showing the imminent fate of Daniel. The spark turned to a fire, the fire turned to an explosion and he was gone, leaving us alone. The used- to be adults came to us again now, banging on the doors of our little house and we all started crying. And for once, I felt emotions that mother used to teach us. I felt sad, I felt scared, but partly, I felt angry. I took the weapon and went downstairs. The Comedown wasn't what we expected but maybe if I made this land our own, we would find a way to survive.

Samuel

Hey guys, this is my story. Parts of it are unrealistic, like the fact that he has an extensive vocabulary at 10 years old, but I'm just trying to get my thoughts down

-Derrick

Little Boy

The world has come to a series of ghettos and off limits junk yards.

I get my ass kicked every day.

My dad is gone.

I have 1234 dollars.

This is life buddy…

…

…

…

…

It's 6:31 and I've lived in this ghetto for a total of four hours. I made friends! Their names are Ervin Drake and Jamie Myers. They're two guys who were walking up the street while I was sitting on my porch. And before I knew it my money was all spent with the exception of 20 dollars.

First they asked me if I wanted a cigarette. And seeing as though I have had no friendships for the entirety of my life I decided it would be fine.

I coughed violently for ten minutes. The smoke engulfs your throat and tickles. That's what happened to me at least.

…

So I've saved up this money since I was about six. I wanted a fucking trampoline so bad. And I got a cliché answer from my parents. So I saved money from birthdays, from those random times a grandparent offers you some cash. Only catch is I never bought that trampoline. But the two guys…said they would make me a god. Said I would be invincible, like superman. If I just offered them the money. I secretly kept those twenty dollars from myself. I told them I had 1214 dollars. I think they believe me.

…

They take me to some woods. We walked down the streets like thugs. It was weird…gave me a sense of…belonging. "This is what makes you superman" Jamie says. Once the bag was removed from his back he pulls out a large freezer bag full of some plant and a vial of colorful pills. And I wonder That's the shit my money went to! "Trust me man its good." I guess he realized I was surprised by the look on my face.

…

My father had this necklace. A chain. With a miraculous medal on it. The Virgin Mary's figure was carved into it. That's all I remember.

…

Ervin rolled the some of the green plant he called "marijuana" in a brown wrapping. When he was done he had a tight brown stick he called a "blunt". Jamie took one of the pills. Ervin lit the "blunt". I inhaled it after him. Now I coughed when I smoked a cigarette. But I nearly died after smoking the blunt. It stung not tickled.

…

I feel dead. Everything sounds as if in slow motion. Jamie said he was "tripping balls" and Ervin said he was "stoned" and that I was too. "You're fucking high bro…" he said painfully with a lung full of smoke. I felt terrible. I couldn't get up. I felt light headed. I felt like everything as a movie. And deep down…I knew it was great.

…

"Wanna see something cool man?" Jamie says. And I say, "Hell yeah."

…

"This is the shit the government doesn't want you to see." Jamie smiles at me and crawls under the fence. There's a hole that nobody notices that goes right under the fence allowing you enough space to crawl under. And when I get up I don't know if it was the plant or the pills but there were bodies. On crosses. Face down, naked in water. Fat ones, skinny ones, black ones, white ones, all dead ones. And there was a pile of bones sitting alone. And on his neck…

…

DAMN! FUCK! The Virgin Mary staring at me. Telling me its alright.

…

They beat me and left me with the bodies. They took my twenty dollars. Soon I walk home.

…

All I think about is the bodies…of Jamie and Ervin's fist. I sit in my room…like a pile of bones.    

 

So this wasn't that great. I've had writers block for a long time. This was my best attempt though.

See if you like it…I'm trying to get better….

 

-Jake

The Legend of the Tell-Tale Heart

    We took a drive. A casual one. A usual one. We drove up to the mountains. The winding road ahead was constantly shifting in and out of view. I didn't eat before I left home. I didn't really feel like it. Now I was having a cigarette on an empty stomach. She watched. I cried. She stared as I wept. We stopped at a rest stop. We made love. I continued to drive. We made it a few miles. I stopped to piss. She didn't have to. I got back in the car. She was sleeping. I held her hand. I started driving.

    She was still asleep. I took her out of the car. I cried harder than ever. Dirt flew. Metal glinted in the moonlight. A windless night—a perfect one. My vision was blurred. I shoved her. She took it. I left. I drove back down the mountain. I stopped at the rest stop. I had a cigarette. Now I had time. All the time in the world.

    At home, I slept. I slept sound, considering what happened. I tossed and turned. I couldn't handle it anymore. It was killing me. I felt like that guy, in that story. Or was it a poem? I couldn't remember it at the moment. It was the one with the heart. The heart underneath the floorboards. Or was it a body? And the guy heard the heartbeat. And he went crazy. That's what I was. I heard the heartbeat. I heard it and it was driving me insane. I cried. I laughed. I cried again. I screamed. No longer could I bear it. No longer could my own heart take it. It couldn't take the knowledge. It couldn't take the sound.

    I hit the wall. I hit it as hard as I could. Broke my hand. Didn't feel pain. Now I do. I kicked the wall. Broke my toenails. Didn't feel that too. Now I feel that, too. The silence choked me. The sound swallowed me. I tried to fight it. I tried to hit it back. I cut myself. I tried to end it. I took pills. I threw it all up. I drank. I threw that all up too. I felt no love. I felt no pity. I felt no sadness. I was light. I was drifting. I smiled. I tore out some hair. I clawed my face. I laughed. It was joyous. I loved it. I hated it.

    I killed it. I killed her. I buried her. 6 feet deep and 7 feet wide. A part of Mother Earth. I was guilty. I confessed. I called the cops. They came. I broke my hand, I clawed my face. I cut my wrists, I threw up. I broke my toenails, I tore out my hair. They saw me. I cried. They injected me. I felt… still…

    I awoke in a hospital. The white room slightly blinded me as I stared around at the walls. I didn't want to be in this dreadful place, but I knew I had to. I was pretty banged up, and the doctors said that I was in terrible shape. They said that I was lucky to be alive. I cried again, but it hurt. After I recovered, I thought they would send me to jail. They didn't. They sent me to a mental hospital. There I stayed for several years. I forgot the sound of anything good on television. I forgot the taste of the outside air. I forgot the exhilarating feeling as I crested the hill on a rollercoaster. I missed the wind in my hair, and the sound and sights of cars.

    I finally got home. They gave me these pills that make me feel great. I don't remember much of what happened that night, just bits and pieces, like photographs. I only remember certain pictures or clips of that night. I hope the pills they gave me take those pictures away. I couldn't stand to know why I was suddenly alone. I couldn't stand to know why people avoided me in my neighborhood. I hated them. I hated them all. But, for some reason I didn't. I didn't hate them all. In fact, I loved them dearly. I loved them as if I was their father, and they were my children. I loved them to death. I still don't know why, but I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to piece my life back together. I'll never do drugs, I'll never drink. I'll never have sex, I'll never own a pet. I'll never have kids, I'll never have a wife. Because I'm afraid. Not afraid of having sex, or doing drugs. I'm not afraid of having kids, a wife, and a cute little dog. I'm not afraid of them, I'm afraid for them. Afraid of what I could do. Afraid of what I've done.

    Sometimes at night, I awake with a start. I think that I can hear that heartbeat. When that happens, I go to the bathroom and wash my face. I take a pill, and calm down. I close my eyes, and when I open them, I can swear that I see her. I can swear for a split second that I see her and in her eyes, all the shit I've done bores into my heart. And my heart beats. It beats quicker than ever. It beats furiously in my chest, and I think I'll have a heart attack. But I soon realize that she isn't there and I shake my head. I lay back down in bed and close my eyes. However, my heart would still be beating. Slower, now that I've lied down. However, I can hear it. I don't feel the thumping, but I can hear it. The beating of the Tell-Tale Heart.

 

This is what I've written. I don't really know, I like it a lot. Tell me what you think!

--Jon

I understand that we've been neglecting this thing
and I don't know about you guys but this was awesome xD
so I think that we should start it up again.
I'm working on a new project
and I'm calling it 'Runner'
and so I would like it if we start posting in this again.
Idk, I have nothing else to do in class, so I figure, "why not?"
So I'll have you guys know that I'm going to be posting stuff in here soon :P

-Jon

THIS IS ALL DEAD.


-Kayla

Emanuel and the Clairvoyance

An end is nigh and crows will fall
Yet through it all I refuse
The Devil will dance and the aegis breaks
At the inchoate bowel

Even the skinner barely killed
And hell rides can be a thrill
All inspired by the weak
The searchlight’s lust will be filled

Oh pity me darling for the cutting begun
But the pendulum at a halt
For I am blind to the night’s red
In my mouth the taste of salt

All inspired by the weak
The searchlight’s lust will be filled

It was a coward for success
Just as the misery
But I promise you it’s hotter in hell
Let us go together in bliss

Even the skinner barely killed
And hell rides can be a thrill
All inspired by the false
The eye’s lust will be filled

Oh pity me darling for the cutting begun
But the pendulum at a halt
I hate the crust of night’s tears
Let us dance in your opus cult

Although I’m burning
I swear I’m free
Though tonight I watch the doves fall down
They will fly tomorrow you see
Even if today the humor mask is true
It is not your face
Through my denial it will break
Wearing it you will rue

No don’t pity me friends
For I am king
And forever
It is my slave

______

Yeah all you TNP guys
This is sorta a little song thingy I wrote
See what you think